This week the internet had a cold – strep throat or something nasty – and it just didn’t work. Carmelle, Greg and I worked so hard to get the broadcast up and running, and it just didn’t want to play nice(cast). I felt the cold hard edge of resistance rise against my will. I was defeated, upset, and spent.
So when I got home after a long day of defeat, I did something different. I skirted my computer, that whole digital world, and I went for a walk. Now walking at the end of March for you folks out on the coast is a glorious thing! Lennor wrote about the sweet ocean spray on her face in this post, but out here on the prairies I contend with the still biting winter wind, the ice on the walkway, the layer upon layer that prepares me to enter the cold. Winter is like one of those marginal acquaintances that I have to prepare myself to reluctantly spend time with. So why would I get out there after such a hard day?
Well, my frustrations with the digital world quickly wound into my head – repeating a mantra of negativity that never fails to leave me breathless. I have recently been working with my body as a way to escape that merry-go-round of defeatist thinking. I get down into my body. I feel, I work, I use my muscles and suddenly that circular thought works its way into my circular bloodstream. It churns its way through my sinews and finally escapes through my pores. I literally sweat it out. (Though I don’t get too sweaty…. I’m a gentle walker!)
When I came home, I was still a bit upset that I couldn’t achieve what I had aimed for, but it was suddenly a manageable thing. I thought how tomorrow the internet may be over its cold and that maybe I was just pushing it a little too much for its own good.
Just like the weather, this too will pass.
When I got back in, I tuned into #ds106radio – a large part of my frustration – and I found @bryanjack broadcasting from Port Moody. He was singing some of his original tunes along with favourite covers. Others gathered from the #ds106radio world. @DrGarcia @rowan_peters @cogdog all tuned in to share a little digital campfire time. I was reminded how this space is one for friends to gather and I was reminded how blessed I am to be part of sharing that space with new friends.
So thank you all for participating. Thank you for your patience. And when your frustrations present, I hope you have many worlds to give you perspective.